Reflections of and on a probably Asperger's parent parenting an Asperger's kid (or 2)!

dragon pups

dragon pups

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Letter to My Son...

Son, we've been arguing a lot lately. I know you are growing into a young man, that you are learning about how your body and mind is changing *as* you change. And change is hard.
I understand deeply that it is just as hard to find out who you are as it is for the world around you to let you find out who you are. There are lots of people here to help you, to show you a version of "adult", so that you can compare notes and see what fits with your personality, your skills, your being. We, the adults who love you, will ask things of you, even demand things of you, that we have learned to be Essential to Adulthood. We are doing our best to equip you with the tools to help you be who you are meant to be.
And you are not any of us, you are YOU. The only you that is just like you. You have been created singularly to do some awesome thing that God has created you to do. You probably have not done that Awesome Thing yet, even though you've done some awesome things. You will probably be in an information collecting phase for a long time yet. That may sound daunting, but know that every step,, leads you to a skill, an experience, a person who is supposed to be part of your road, a building stone for your Awesome Thing.
I know that change is hard. Growth usually comes with struggle, even for plants and rocks. There are times when you will feel like you NEED to hold on, to keep what you had. I feel that way too - that's why I look for the little boy in the man you are becoming. But when we refuse to let go, we put up road blocks on our way to our Awesome Thing.
I want to walk your road with you as long as you'd like me to. Some parts I won't be able to go on, and some times I have to walk toward my own Awesome Thing, a road you won't be able to go on. I'll hold you hand, or I'll hear you out, or I'll give advise, or I'll out right shove you. Some roads I will block you from out of my own fears.
I know beyond doubting that God created you just the way you are for a Divine Purpose, for an Awesome Thing. I also know that God planted you conspicuously in my path, so you must need some of my wisdom.
I am asking, requesting, that you please see me as a Gift to you just as I see you as a Gift to me. I am reminding you that all the people around you are here to be your arrows, your pathway lights. And I am knowing that the Incredible You that you are will follow Your Road to your Awesome Thing. I am respecting that your life is your own, even if we have to share space and the consequences of your decisions.
There is nothing you will ever do that will make me stop loving you, even as we both struggle with change.
And that is all true whether you have autism, or not.
- inspired from a post by Diary of a Mom.

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