to my Love...

I am lonely & hormonal... and the only thing I have to reach out with is my words.  You are too far away for me to reach with my hands...

I know that I am where I am needed right now - that I am here to both offer needed support and to learn.  I have had intense amounts of affirmation in the past 3 days in my ability to "read"/ "hear" other people and Divine Nudges...

I knew her medicines were not right, and that she didn't want to take them, and the hospice nurse pointed it out within 6 hours.  I knew she wanted me to bake bread, and once I did it triggered memories of her mother.  I know that she wants us to laugh and remember the good times, and I think I provided a tool for that...

Herons have crossed my path everyday this week.  He teaches self-reliance - being confident in my perceptions so I can grasp opportunities quickly.  He is telling me I am not wrong...

You actually said those words to me once... "You are not wrong."

I am tired.  I am lonely.  I am ready to give up on disappointment.

I am not ready to give up on responsibility.

My kids have had to share me a lot this year.  It will go down as the year they learned to live without me...  I feel like they MUST share me - for I must do and be what God has asked me to be - not only their mother, but a teacher, a dreamer, a connector.  There is work I must do - just like there is work You must do.  Time is not our friend right now...

I am tired.  I am lonely.  And we are so very far apart.

I just want to hear you say "I love you", very close to my ear, with the strength of your arms to hold me up a little while - just to let me rest a little.  You've done that for me before... thank you.  I want to do that again.

I am tired.  I am lonely.  And I have nothing to touch you with, to reach out to you with, except words...

I'll dream of your arms again tonight.  And I will keep placing trust in Time.  We will come together again...